I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
