Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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