she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
