Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
