sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
