I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
