Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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