...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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