why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
