Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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