I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
