Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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