Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
