I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
