I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize