What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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