he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
