Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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