New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
