dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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