you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
