I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
