no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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