i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize