So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
