i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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