Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
