your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't make out with my wife yet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize