i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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