found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
