So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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