What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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