Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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