My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He did a backflip because drugs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
