Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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