to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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