dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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