That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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