yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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