I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize