Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think people are normalizing furries
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
