i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
no, he came in my armpit
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize