Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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