I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
