I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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