She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize