HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
