Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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