In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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