I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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