I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
