I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
