nut hugger
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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