And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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