His hands were made for my vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
