Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
